When you’re decently baked, a colossal amount of sensory carnal pleasures is at the grasp of your fingertips.
It’s been apparent for quite some time that cannabis can be a trustworthy partner in crime, amplifying the joy in even the most trivial of tasks.
We’re definitely going to include some hidden gems, but for the sake of rookies who just started hanging out with weed, we’ll encompass a few of the utmost basics also.
You should note that this isn’t one of those super serious articles, and that these suggestions are the result of my own decade-plus long personal experience. Because all substances affect different people in different ways, we’re counting on your support to include every interesting thing one can do when high.
So in order to keep this unnecessary introduction as short as possible, let’s get to those things you should try when you’re high.
Go out into nature
Even if you’re not the type of person that gets off on nature too much, appreciating the delicate wonders of our green planet is undoubtedly easier whilst casually buzzed. Go anyplace you like, as long as there is no traffic, or a ton of people taking selfies around.
Have sex. A lot of it.
I strongly recommend this option, but for newcomers I would suggest that it should be with a person you’re already at least slightly familiar with, because pot can sometimes make you feel kind of vulnerable, and there is a tendency to overthink stuff.
When you’re in a position where you’re not completely relaxed, it can lead to some anxiety, and anxiety is very unwanted in any kind of love making there is.
You should also hydrate to avoid the ghastly cotton mouth trouble, which is everything but hot.
Go for a swim
By swimming I don’t mean like full speed 50 lengths in the pool, but a much more chill, pleasant version of that.
Salt water is definitely a plus, because you don’t have to do so much work in it. Other variations are of course welcomed, like snorkeling, diving and coral exploring.
Even if you’re not the “creative” type, just grab a blank piece of paper and see where it’ll take you.
You don’t have to be particularly talented for the drawing to turn out awesome, and sometimes it’s just nice to see what will come out of your high-altitude mind.
Invite your friends over for a jam session
For this one you should probably already know how to play an instrument, but if you have friends who are in a band, you can just tag along and kid around with some percussions, or turn up the reverb and echo on the mic and unleash your inner Jagger.
A good alternative is Guitar Hero.
Try doing yoga
If you do yoga and smoke weed, then you already know that they go splendidly together, but for someone who hasn’t tried it yet, the serenity that marijuana brings will fit like a glove with the gentle stretchy exercises of yoga.
You’ll feel like a new super-flexible creature after it, and probably get hungry like a miniature wolf.
Meditate for 20 minutes
Even though some of us have troubles controlling the thought patterns when buzzed, meditation is definitely something you should try. It will help you find out if you’re one of the people that easily goes into a deeply relaxed state, or not.
Find some proper music, dim the lights, turn off the sounds on your phone, take deep breaths, and visualize every part of your body relaxing, single piece at a time.
If this feels allright, google some advanced techniques, and you’re on the way to become your own personal guru.
Have a deep conversation
Having a deep discussion about religion, space, conspiracy theories and other trippy stuff can be a real delight when you’re in the right mood, just be sure that the other participants of the conversation are also hella high, otherwise you might appear like a true eccentric, but that’s also just fine.
Focus on music
If you’re alone, grab your headphones, close your eyes and just lie down.
Immerse yourself in your favourite genre of music, and you should try listening to stuff you haven’t heard before, because the element of surprise will make the entire experience even more exhilarating.
Read an interesting book
I myself often struggle with reading when high, even if it’s the most interesting book ever, because my mind is constantly jumping from one train of thought to another.
But many people I know tell me that they don’t have these types of problems, so kick your feet up, grab a glass of wine, and figure out if you’re like them, or like me.
Get a massage
Caution, this one can get seriously addictive.
Once you try it, it will be difficult to stop, but then again, why would you? It’s healthy for the body, and it’s oh so pleasant for your mind.
Spend a few bucks, treat yourself to a pleasure only money can buy, because even if your loved one is a professional masseuse, he/she won’t massage you nearly as good as the person you’re paying.
Eat something delicious
It’s common knowledge (even among non-pot smokers) that food simply tastes better when high. Because of this, you should eat something really lavish and decadent, and your tastebuds will be profoundly grateful for it.
I know so many people who eat chips and other lame basic processed foods when stoned, ignoring this simple but awesome life hack.
If you’re on some fancy pants diet, then you should definitely eat your cheat meals super-stoned.
Go to the movies
Watch some crazy science fiction 3D blockbuster and give your senses the havoc they require.
Sure, you can also watch some Helen Hunt drama flick, but you definitely don’t need a big screen for that.
Butter your popcorns, and watch aliens, zombies and other monstrosities go bananas.
Throw your old stuff out
I admit this one is rather peculiar task, but I figured out that it’s much easier to get rid of unnecessary stuff from your apartment/garage when high.
I guess it’s the collective wisdom of all the stoners throughout the ages advising you not to be attached to lifeless objects too much, which is perfect for battling the inner hoarder whom most of us have hiding inside.
This one is a no-brainer, the same rules as for sex apply, but you can’t get weirded out, nor do you have to think about cotton mouth.
It’s been proven by science that masturbation is healthy, but the key word here is moderation.
Go to a concert
If you’re into music, then this is a perfect thing to do when stoned.
I would suggest gentler genres like stoner-rock, indie, jazz, blues and everything else that isn’t too uptempo, because you don’t really want sounds to ravage your ears while you’re casually flying your kite.
Heavy raves should probably be avoided, but light electronica can be an exquisite experience also.
There’s something about pot that just makes hopping to your favourite tune so much more fun, and we all know that dancing is therapeutic, so no matter if you’re in the club or home alone like Macaulay Culkin, treat yourself with some freaky butt shaking, or any other type of dance you like.
Go on a roller coaster
Riding the metal serpent is a crazy event just by itself, but it’s an otherworldly experience when you’re high.
A few pro tips: devour your munchie-foods after the ride, and make sure you have some more pot, because the sheer adrenalin will most likely leave you straighter than a ruler.
Smoke more weed
Just in case you’re not high enough, perhaps you should get a bit more high, and transform into your highness himself.
BONUS: Things NOT to do when high
Now that we’ve covered the things that should be done, I wanted to alert you about a few situations where it’s probably not the brightest idea to be stoned out of your mind.
Here they are.
Don’t go to a job interview
This one is for the rookies of the weed.
Who knows what you’ll say, who knows what you’ll do…
Just wait for after the interview, I embarrassed myself once or twice, so please learn from my horrid mistakes.
Don’t do public speaking
This one is quite similar to the interview rule, the only exception is if the audience is also stoned, or if they’re really drunk, then you are good to go.
Otherwise, just keep your mouth shut.
Don’t get a tattoo
You can get one if you already picked out a design and everything, but if you’re just strolling around and spontaneously figured that a purple butterfly would look jaw-breaking on your lower back, then just back the f*** up.
Don’t respond to work emails
Unless you work for a weed blog like yours truly, you should probably reconsider this move, unless of course you enjoy your boss belt whipping you on the regular.
Don’t parallel park
For some peculiar reason, this otherwise pretty simple operation turns into a giant perplexing mystery. I’m pretty sure that if Lewis Hamilton was a stoner, he would also have severe troubles with p-parking.
This was pretty much all I could think of at this time. If you have any other ideas, please leave a quick comment below. Help a brother out.